When I started working at Aetna 23 years ago I noticed something odd. A lot of the women I worked with complained frequently about their husbands and many also complained about their in-laws. I never understood this. I’m not saying my husband was perfect but I certainly wasn’t going to complain about him at work. And let’s face it, I really didn’t have much to complain about.
A lot of credit for the man he turned out to be, goes to his parents, Andre and Barbara Ann (Prandini) teNyenhuis. They raised five children. The fact that they survived the first three is kind of a miracle! Patrick turned 1 just two short weeks after Gabriel was born. Daniel turned 2 the following month. So they had three in diapers at the same time! And then Dina was born a few years later but they weren’t done yet, Matthew arrived a few years later.
I met Patrick after they moved out of their Ashcroft house but my understanding is that they added on to their master bedroom to create a dorm style room for the boys. I’m not sure that I would have been happy about giving up my master bedroom but Mom and Pop made it work. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must have been to have so many small children at once (and I thought two was a lot of work)!
Mom and Pop not only raised those five children, they got them all through college and they all became successful, independent and happily married. They are all really great people to be around and I’m happy to call them my family.
I have awesome parents of my own so I wasn’t necessarily looking for another set (lol) but it became clear early on that my in-laws were very special. I remember Mom laughing with me about crazy things Patrick did and I always reminded him that she said if we ever split up they were keeping me. I may have imagined this but I’m sticking to my story.
Many people also complain about the fact that they “have to” split up holiday events between families. I was fortunate because it was important to both of us to be with both families and we did our best to make that happen whenever possible. My favorite holidays have been the ones where we had some combination of our families together.
I have contact with a lot of widows both in person and online. I regularly hear horror stories about interactions following the death of their husband or just the fact that the relationship ended with the death. I am so happy that I only have good stories to share. They have always loved me but I have felt it even more as they supported me through the death of their son. They remind me regularly that even though we may not talk every day, they are always thinking of the girls and I and they always love us.
Yesterday I got to spend the day on Shaver lake celebrating Mom’s birthday. I won’t tell you which one. We got to celebrate Zia Becky’s birthday too. I am so grateful to be part of this family! Happy Birthday Mom!
