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Our Pride and Joy

I would like to start out by apologizing to my children. I try not to embarrass them but sometimes I just have to be a mom! Patrick and I have always been proud of the girls. One of the things I miss the most is our private conversations when we talked about our hopes and dreams for them. We could just talk and not worry that we would sound like we were bragging. We thought we were the luckiest people in the world! We joked that we were terrible parents and I frequently thought we might have been too easy on them. Mainly we just loved and enjoyed them.

One thing I regret is that I don’t have a lot of video of them interacting with their dad. They all regularly entertained me. When they were younger and video cameras were popular, I wanted to enjoy life, not walk around recording it. But I would love to have just a few videos of the crazy arguments and discussions they had!

The girls have been remarkably strong and resilient in their own ways. Sierra took incompletes in her college classes last Spring. She is finishing those up and is set to graduate after three years of college. We thought she was joking when she first told us but she stuck with it and did extremely well. She had planned to go straight to law school but is going to take a year to study for the LSAT so she can get into a good school. I am grateful that I don’t have to be an empty nester just yet.

Camille is graduating with just about every honor available. She is currently weighing her options but she has several good scholarship opportunities.

This week there was an unfortunate event at Clovis East. Two students fought and one cut or stabbed the other. Later that day Camille and her friends were sad to see people commenting negatively on social media about their school. They decided to share the positive and Camille began a tweet thread of positive things that have happened at the school this year. Others joined and her tweets were shared hundreds of times. She didn’t think she did anything special and was kind of surprised at the response. She was not happy when she got a request for an interview. She didn’t want to do it and when I asked her why she said, “I’m really more of a behind-the-scenes  person”. She did the interview and I thought she did great.

I’m very relieved that my daughters are strong and successful in life. They are both on the right track and I can’t wait to see what they accomplish! I am so blessed to be their mother!

 

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A Bit of Closure 2/16/17

This was originally posted on 2/16/17. I am reposting today since the defendant has completed his program. I’ll make a new post about that also. The image is the picture I planned to show the defendant.

Court is over finally. The defendant will spend 316 days in a treatment facility. I will write more about it later. Here are the statements we read. FYI “addressing the defendant” means addressing his back.

Statement read by Denny
Testimony

Your honor, I want to thank you for the opportunity to address the court. I’d like to start by reading a note from Daniel teNyenhuis, Patrick’s brother who cannot be here today. Dan is a retired United States Marine who still works to keep our nation safe. While we are in court for the sentencing of the man who caused his brother’s death, Dan is at work defending us.

These are Dan’s words –
“Patrick John teNyenhuis was my first friend and will always be my friend. I knew Pat before I knew anyone else. I spent my formative years with him. He significantly contributed to my personality and character. I owe much of my success to his influence. Yes, Patrick John teNyenhuis did live a blessed live. Pat deserved every blessing he received, including his three girls, Danell, Sierra, and Camille. Pat earned his other blessings through hard work and dedication, including his career as an expert Physical Therapist where he routinely helped others in need. Patrick John teNyenhuis was a COMPLETE man in mind, body, and spirit; from his music and career, to his health and physical fitness, to his family and faith. During his life, Patrick John teNyenhuis met people from all walks of life through his profession and his hobbies. Pat could talk with crowds and keep his virtue; he could walk with kings without losing his common touch. The world is a lesser place without the skills, music, and wit of Patrick John teNyenhuis. We all miss him.
–Daniel Joseph teNyenhuis

I can’t do a better job than Dan to describe Pat or the impact his life had on everyone around him.

Before I sit down, though, I want to talk about the impact his death had, and the actions that brought us all here today.
It’s important that everyone in this room understand that we are not here by accident. Recently, following a court appearance, a member of the defendant’s family told us that they were praying for us, but it was an accident. That is a lie.

Pat’s death was not an accident. He died because of the irresponsible, selfish and illegal actions of the defendant.
The defendant chose to buy an illegal drug.
The defendant chose to take that illegal drug. The defendant chose to get behind the wheel of a car and drive while under the influence of that drug and the sleep deprivation that resulted from its use. Whether it was intentional or not, the defendant then hit and killed Patrick. No logical person argues these facts.

Where logic still fails us all is the lack of accountability being shown here, and the total lack of justice.

The defendant will be back with his friends and family within a year, while Patrick is gone forever from our lives.

Neither are things we can change. We have to try and accept them, and choose to honor Pat’s legacy rather than live our lives filled with anger over the unimaginably deep and painful hole he left behind.
We will spend the rest of our lives following Patrick’s examples.

When this legal process started, many of us hoped that the defendant would be accountable for his actions and would take responsibility. As we learned more about his long criminal history, we were forced to give up that hope. On April 20 of last year the Defendant forever changed the lives of our family and his own. The only hope I have left for some positive outcome from this terrible crime, is that it is not too late for everyone in this courtroom to learn from a better example. For that hope I offer the memory of Patrick.
Patrick was a man who loved God and his family. Patrick was a man who worked hard, every day of his life. Patrick was a man who worked for everything he achieved in life and always shared what he had with those in need. Patrick was a man who often worked six days a week to provide a better life for his wife and children. Patrick was a man who had dreams and worked hard to achieve them. Patrick was a man who touched the lives of everyone he met. Patrick was a man who accepted the blame when he made mistakes and did everything he could to do better.
Patrick was a man.

Today I asked the court to do all it can to encourage the defendant to be a man from this day forward. To be a man and accept the terrible results of his crime. To be a man and work hard to change his life, so that this awful scene is not repeated. To be a man and work hard to give his children a better example. To be, a man.
Your honor, I thank you.

My Statement
My name is Danell teNyenhuis. For the last 24 years, I was Patrick’s wife. Our marriage began in 1992 and ended on April 20th, 2016 when you took his life.

I am not a vindictive person. I know very little about you. I know you are a father and I know that you made a series of poor choices that
resulted in Patrick’s death.

There is no punishment that will make up for the loss my daughters and I have suffered due to your choices. Unfortunately, our legal system was unable to find a way to adequately hold you accountable. So, you will do your time and then have the rest of your life ahead of you.

What will you do with the rest of your life?
Let me tell you how Patrick lived his life. He was an amazing husband! We were truly partners in life. He helped with everything including doing the grocery shopping and most of the cooking. He also found time to make me feel special and loved. He made all of my dreams come true. He was a wonderful father to our daughters, Sierra and Camille. His daughters were his pride and joy! When they were infants he would get up with them at night, change their diapers and then bring them to me to nurse. When they began eating solid foods he made all their baby food from scratch. He attended sporting events, helped with science projects and truly enjoyed spending time with them. They are beyond devastated by his loss. In the next year one will graduate from high school and one from college. Someday they will get married and have children and he will miss these important milestones.

Patrick was an excellent physical therapist. I know because he helped me rehabilitate after hip surgery. I also know due to the numerous
patients who have reached out to me since his death. Here is just one of the many stories that have been shared.

In 2009 I had a surgery which resulted in damage to my femoral nerve. Patrick became my physical therapist for an entire year, 3 times per week, as he persisted to try to figure out the best therapy routine and exercise regime to help my femoral nerve
regenerate and function. He did not know if the nerve was severed, crushed, stretched or who knows what, but he was relentless in the challenge to help me be able to use my right leg
again. I developed the greatest respect for him, his physical therapy skills, his tenacity and determination to take on the challenge and master the results successfully for me, as well as for his professional skills and efforts. The therapy was successful because of his training, perseverance and knowledge. I was able to move and functionally use my right leg again. He told me that I was a rehab miracle. The truth is, the miracle was God’s divine intervention transferred through Patrick’s passion for healing, professional skills and caring personality for his clients,
including me. He became not only my therapist but my friend during those sessions.

Patrick was also a devoted son and brother. And he was loved by 22 nieces and nephews and numerous extended family members. He was a good friend to many but was also humble and felt he only had one friend. His funeral service was standing room only.

He was a great provider for his family and he worked overtime most weekends to ensure that he could pay for his daughters to go to
college. He was unselfish and spent very little money on himself.

I could go on and on but I think by now you might be realizing how many people were affected by his death. In my opinion you have been given the gift of a second chance. Will you choose to continue the same path and risk making a poor choice again? My challenge to you is that you learn from this tragedy. Do your time and then change your life. Do
something positive. Make a difference in the world. Share your story as a lesson to others. I am not ready to offer forgiveness. But, if you want to atone for this then make your life matter.
The girls Instagram posts from 4/20/16, which I read in court.

Dina’s Statement

I’m Dina teNyenhuis, Patrick is my brother.

I’m not going to talk about Patrick being senselessly taken away from us because there are no words to describe the grief and anguish and pain it has caused our family. I’m going to talk about “accidents”. What is an accident? I think everyone in this room knows what one is. The problem with accidents is sometimes the ChoicesWeMake are what cause them to happen.

When my students would make poor choices and then claim that the result of their choices “was an accident,” I used this example to explain to them that they can’t hide behind that excuse: If you choose to climb up on a table and start dancing, then you fall off the table and break your arm, or another student’s arm – it was your choice to climb in the table – something you shouldn’t have done in the first place, that led to the “accident”, even if you didn’t intend to fall off.

If we make choices to do certain things or choose a certain type of lifestyle, there are consequences to those choices and to the “accidents” those choices lead to. We put ourselves in positions that can cause negative circumstances or “accidents”. Those are within our control. Our negative choices caused them.

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I’ve kept myself busy all week so that I wouldn’t think about tomorrow. We have our final hearing and we will be addressing the defendant. I have been anxiously awaiting this closure and it didn’t happen two weeks ago but I am 99% sure this will be it. I’m pretty sure I’ve been keeping my guard up and I will probably have to let it down tomorrow and that kind of terrifies me. My family will be with me so I know it will be okay but I’m just not sure that I want to experience all of the emotion. At least this part will be over.

I still just can’t believe this happened. I think about him every day and I’m able to share funny stories and smile. But every once in a while I get sucker punched when I consciously remember that he is gone. Tonight I cooked dinner for the soccer team and I kind of got in over my head. I don’t cook a lot and when I do it is just for 2-3 people. I decided to make 4 kinds of pasta, two kinds of sauce, chicken and veggies. My oven was used in shifts and every burner on my stove was in use. And I didn’t time it very well. The chicken didn’t look right at first so I just didn’t serve it. I ate some and it tasted ok but at that point they were all full from pasta! I think it turned out okay but let’s just say it wasn’t Olive Garden!

Patrick and I hosted a lot of get togethers over the years. He was usually in charge of cooking and he just had a knack for the timing that is involved when you cook a big meal. He probably viewed it as a math problem to be solved! Just another one of his many talents! He used to crack me up when he was getting ready to sleep. I would catch him deep in thought and ask what was wrong and he would hold up his hand for a minute and then tell me he was doing math, which meant he was calculating what time to set his alarm. I never understood this since he stuck to his schedule religiously so I usually just laughed!

Time for sleep! I am so thankful the hearing was moved to the afternoon so I won’t miss my workout. I’ll post again tomorrow to let you know how it goes!

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Forever mine

I am cautiously optimistic that tomorrow won’t be awful. I haven’t been alone on Valentine’s Day for over 30 years. But I’m feeling okay leading up to it so I think it will be at least okay and maybe even good.

Over the years we went from the gushy, young love on Valentine’s Day to the romantic, sweet, appreciative and comfortable. We celebrated in a lot of different ways and they were all good. For many years we avoided going out on the actual day and really didn’t always make it a special occasion. More recently I would make lasagne for the four of us and we would eat on my grandmother’s china. I haven’t even done that in a few years. He used to always send me flowers but we stopped that expense by mutual agreement a while back too. I don’t think either one of us felt we needed another special day to show our love for each other. I’m not saying I didn’t love extravagant gestures but I didn’t really need them to feel loved. And I’m actually grateful that we didn’t make a big deal out of it. That will make this year easier for me.

I’m starting the day with a workout and I’m really happy about that! I am still loving getting up early and going! I am slowly noticing changes and I know Patrick would love that I was developing healthy habits. He would love the changes too 💪😉.

Later in the day Clovis East has the first round of soccer playoffs. I was SO happy when I realized I get to watch them play on Valentine’s Day! I can’t explain it but I love this team so much! I know that a big part of it has to do with the great time we had watching them when the Valley Championships last year and being grateful that we have such happy memories of our last months with him. The other part is that the team, the school, and the parents of Camille’s teammates and friends have been such a wonderful source of support for us. I never worried about Camille because she always had so many people looking out for her and loving her. I know I’ve mentioned this before but when I walked into Patrick’s funeral and saw the full row of the girls in their championship jackets, I cried. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me! So, I can’t think of a better event for Valentine’s Day.

If they win there will be a game in Bakersfield on Thursday. We also have what we hope is the last court appearance on Thursday. For the last one I waited in the cafeteria because I knew in advance that nothing was likely to happen but I had to be there, just in case. I have my statement ready and I’m reading some things the girls wrote since they won’t be there. Denny is also speaking and reading something Patrick’s brother, Daniel, wrote. Hopefully we can both get through it but I’m not going to feel bad at all if there are tears. I just want to have this part behind me. I know that Patrick’s love will give me strength to get through it. Prayers are appreciated too! 😊

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Unexpected memories

They say that at the end of your life memories flash before you. What I didn’t realize is that when you lose someone who was such a big part of your life, this video montage seems to go on and on. At times it’s jarring when I suddenly remember some random event. Cathy and I drove to Las Vegas this week to see Cher in concert. As we passed the casinos in Primm, I looked at the big roller coaster that I’m pretty sure I have never ridden but suddenly I had a memory of riding roller coasters with Patrick. It’s almost like some sort of alarm that your body sets in case you go too long without thinking about your loved one. Some of these memories almost bring me to tears but I’m trying to learn to smile and let the memory just fill my heart.

Recently, I remembered the beautiful box my mother-in-law made us to put cards in at the wedding. The idea was to have one place to keep all the cards so they wouldn’t get lost and it was a great idea! The morning after the wedding we gathered at my mom’s house to open gifts. At some point someone mentioned the cards and no one could find the box. I can’t remember exactly what was discussed at that point but Patrick and I were anxious to get going. We drove to San Francisco and flew to Puerto Rico where we left on a 7 day cruise.

While we began our honeymoon, our families were trying to solve the mystery of the card box. It was determined that the box had been placed on the roof of a van while a child was being buckled into a car seat in the garage of our new apartment. The box fell off somewhere between that apartment complex and my mom’s house. Family members walked most or maybe all of the route in a fruitless search for the box.

We called to check in a few days later and at that point our families had taken on the awkward task of trying to determine what had been in the box. Some guests had written checks that could be canceled and rewritten. Some had given us gift cards or cash so those were lost. A few weeks later a friend was in a meat market where he had purchased a gift certificate for us. The meat market was owned by friends of his and he was visiting when someone came in and tried to redeem the gift certificate. They got it back but didn’t get any info on the person and from that point on we knew that the box had been found and someone chose to keep our cards and the gifts inside them.

At first I was sad and then we felt victimized. I just couldn’t believe someone would be so cold- hearted. The relative who had placed the box on the roof of the van felt really bad and actually sent us a new tv as a gift. We wanted to send it back since it wasn’t his fault but were finally convinced that he was not going to feel better unless we accepted it.

As the years went by the impact of this seemed smaller and smaller. The loss of the card box was not going to ruin the memories we had of a fabulous time in our lives. Sure we thought about what we could have done with the money but eventually it just became a distant memory.

I share this as a reminder that sometimes we go through situations that seem like the end of the world but eventually those memories are softened by time and you realize they were just a tiny blip. Just to clarify, I am NOT comparing the loss of the cards to the loss of Patrick! They were two different types of losses. Losing Patrick will always have a big impact on me. My main point is, “Don’t let bad experiences define you.” This experience taught me that what really matters is love and family. You can have all the money in the world but I would rather have the people I love. When I look back on my wedding, the card box is a very small part of the memories, and the rest are JOYOUS!

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Social media

I always wanted Patrick to have a smartphone so it would be easier to send pictures and texts back and forth. And of course I wanted to send him cute emoticons! He was anti-mainstream and would never choose to do something just because that’s what everyone did. Once he dropped his phone in the lake and I had a new phone for him before he got home. He had made comments about not wanting a phone and I didn’t want him driving around without one. Unfortunately that was before smartphones or that’s what I would have bought him! His flip phone was so ancient that they were sending him messages that it would no longer be supported.

He was also fiercely anti social media. He didn’t want any internet presence but finally began to allow videos on Youtube. He didn’t understand the appeal of Facebook. I found some of his fraternity brothers and became friends with them just so we would have a way to contact them if he ever wanted to. One time I noticed that one of them was online and I told him he. Plus chat with him. He got on my computer and they chatted for a few minutes. Then he wanted to know the protocol for ending the conversation. He felt it was kind of impersonal and awkward.

Many of you would be surprised to learn that he DID create a Facebook account several months before he died. He decided that it would be a nice way to store photos and videos but he wanted it to be secret. He was really annoyed that he needed his own email address to do it since I was using the one I shared with him. After he created a gmail account he started working on his secret Facebook profile. Then he got annoyed with some of the things he was being asked and said it was too complicated. He deleted the account but was mad that it would take 14 days. Then he tried to delete his gmail but they required a forwarding address so he was mad about that too and went on a rant about how ridiculous it was. Since April many people have pointed out the irony of his large internet presence now.

I’ll admit I wished he was on Facebook so I could put him on my relationship status. I know that is silly since neither one of us needed an affirmation of love. But I was always proud to be his wife so I was bummed that he wasn’t on Facebook.

Today I decided to edit my Facebook profile. I took out the happily married mother of two wording a while back but couldn’t bring myself to change my relationship status from married to widowed. I didn’t want it to be like I was advertising my status. I decided to check the profiles of a few other widows I know and what I found broke my heart. A few didn’t list a relationship status and a few said still married. A lot said married to …with a link to the husband’s profile. I can’t imagine how much harder that would make it because they would need to delete their relationship in order to change their status! Suddenly I was glad he wasn’t on Facebook! And yes, it did occur to me that maybe I shouldn’t point out the relationship status to my widowed friends. I laughed as soon as I thought this because of course they know that they are no longer married.

I did end up changing my status to widowed. I just felt like it was time.

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First on the scene

This week is going to be difficult for me. We have a court appearance on Thursday and I believe there will be sentencing and we are supposed to be prepared to speak if we choose to. I wrote a statement months ago and I probably won’t change it much but I will agonize over it until it is time to read it. What do you say to the man who hit and killed your husband and the father of your children? I feel like I need to be really mean and angry but I honestly am not capable of doing that. I have asked my brother to speak also. He is an eloquent writer and speaker and he will be able to convey the anger better than I can. I will still speak because he needs to know just what he took away from us.

Yesterday I spoke with the physical therapist who happened to be one of the first people on the scene. I spoke with him in April and had been meaning to talk again when I had more time. I’m not sharing his name because I didn’t ask for permission but it was very comforting both times I spoke to him. He got there moments after the car hit Patrick and he confirmed that Patrick was already gone. There were other bystanders there and they prayed over Patrick and then attempted CPR until paramedics arrived. The driver prayed with them.

He has been profoundly affected by this as you might expect and he was more than happy to talk to me and answer any questions that he could. He felt somewhat guilty that he was not able to do anything. I reassured him that I know there was nothing he could do. I didn’t think of this last night but it just occurred to me that maybe God put him there so that I would know that there was a loving person who prayed over Patrick and was able to tell me that he appeared at peace and didn’t suffer. This meant so much to me! The first time we met, at Patrick’s rosary, he told me that he and his wife had been praying for the girls and I and she wanted me to know that she was sending her love. I spoke to her last night for the first time and she is also a kind and loving person. I’m adding them to the list of my new forever friends.

I hadn’t really thought much about the other people who were there and I have no idea who they were. I am guessing it is possible that some of you know who they are. If so, I would love to be put in contact with them and thank them for stopping.

Please think of our family on Thursday. This won’t be easy but it will be good when it is behind us.

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Guilt

A few days ago I was driving home from an appointment, enjoying my heated seats and the stereo in my new car. I was thinking of how much I love my new gym, and I was feeling unusually happy. Inevitably when this happens I feel guilty because I probably wouldn’t be enjoying any of these things if Patrick were still here.

Getting used to living without your spouse is really hard. First of all, there is the actual living…waking up, getting out of bed, getting dressed, eating. None of those things were easy at first. I went through the motions and eventually it got a little easier. Once you master continuing to be alive, you have to decide if you are ever going to really LIVE again. That is a little harder to come to terms with.

A lot has changed for me and not all of it is awful. I am in school, learning new things. I am recently taking better care of myself. I am cooking and kind of enjoying it a little. I am keeping my house tidy so that someone else can come and really clean it! lol I’ve learned to do more around the house and yard. I have a lot of new friends and deeper relationships with older friends. I get paid to be retired! My retirement future is honestly more secure than it would have been. I will get to enjoy my retirement years.

My life is pretty ok right now and it really sucks that he is not here to enjoy it with me! The thing is, as much as losing him sucks, it happened, it’s my reality. It makes no sense that God would take him from the girls and I, but we don’t always get to know the reason. And even though most of my new life would have never been, it IS. As I like to say, “It is, what it is”. This is the life I have been given. I could choose to spend all of my time mourning or I can choose to live.

I decided to look up the meaning of “It is what it is” and it’s actually kind of harsh and uses multiple curse words but it does sum things up perfectly. This is the way it’s going to be! Deal with it! I’m putting the link in case you want to see it.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=It%20is%20what%20it%20is

I am going to try and enjoy things without guilt. I know this is what he would’ve wanted.
I’m not going to apologize for knowing my new friends or enjoying my car. This doesn’t mean that I don’t miss him. I will always think about him. Every. Single. Day. Hopefully it will be with a smile on my face.

Earlier I was sitting at Camille’s soccer game. As is typical we weren’t happy with some of the calls and the other coach was a little obnoxious. One of the dads was being quite vocal about it and his wife scolded him a little. I laughed to myself and thought this was the first time I was happy Patrick was not there. He probably would have considered it s challenge to be more obnoxious and I would have been stressed that he was going to get the ref angry. I would have said “PATRICK!!!!!!!” many times! This would have been said very quickly and somewhat quietly because he didn’t like to be scolded. And MAYBE he would have listened or probably he would have just gotten up and walked away. If I’m being honest, I guess I would have been happy to deal with him if he could have been there. Instead, I just laughed and smiled. It doesn’t always hurt unbearably and it’s good when I have a happy or funny memory.

I will keep working on the guilt. I think it’s going to be a work in progress and that’s fine.

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Aches and pains

Retirement is a lot busier than you might think! I never believed it when retired people told me this but I seem to have a lot more to do! I have to keep reminding myself to have patience since I want to do so many things at once.

I never imagined that I would be a full time student again. My program is designed around people who work. I only take one class at a time for 8 weeks. The class I am in right now is a lot of work and I am so thankful that I don’t have to work on top of doing my course work. I have had to relearn academic writing and study habits. I had terrible study habits when I did my undergraduate degree. Now that I am older and presumably wiser I see the value in planning out my work so that I have adequate time to finish it. I really can’t believe how much time I spend on school work. I think I care more this time around. I don’t like to do poorly so I am always striving to improve each week.

Patrick was always much more disciplined than I was in college. I know he worked a lot harder than I did. His classes were a lot harder and he was dedicated to being the best he could be. He always set high standards for himself. Even when I went to visit he made time for homework. I think he instilled this work ethic in his daughters and I know he would be proud of them.

Sierra is back at Long Beach for her last semester. In a few months she will be graduating and then Camille graduates a week later. I am trying to prepare myself but I fully expect to be an emotional wreck. I am happy that he was here for most of their school years. It’s really hard not having him now. The girls are mostly grown so there really aren’t a lot of “decisions” left to be made but I am so used to discussing everything with him. We would problem solve or just share the joy being parents brought to us.

I am getting used to doing more things on my own. Tonight was trash night so I cleaned leftovers out of the fridge. This reminded me of Patrick’s weekly Wednesday night ritual. I would be cleaning the kitchen and he would announce that it was trash night and he would proceed to take containers out of the fridge and empty the food into the trash. Then he would add the containers to my pile of dishes. I would get so annoyed! Many times I was almost done with the dishes and looking forward to relaxing. I would kind of glare at him and he would be surprised since he was just helping. Why did I get annoyed? Looking back now it is so silly. The things that we waste energy on! I would spend all day washes dishes for another 15 minutes with him! I realize that hindsight is 20-20 and that we tend to only focus on the positive qualities of loved ones who have gone before us. I know he wasn’t perfect but he was a good man. If I had it to do over I would spend more time showing him how much he was loved and appreciated and less time being annoyed about silly things!

I’m on my second week of workouts. I got my boxing gloves and so far I have only used them in workouts. I like having them. It makes me feel tough! LOL. I’m not as sore this week as I was last week. I have had a variety of aches and pains and I am wondering how “normal” people deal with these. Patrick graduated from PT school in 1991 and became my personal, in home, physical therapist. He was good too! Sometimes the “massages” were not very relaxing and I knew that I could expect to be sore for a few days. The pain was worth it because once the few days had gone by I would be much improved. Now I am not quite sure what to do when something really hurts. Admittedly most of the things he treated over the years would not have warranted a Drs visit. He might whine a little but he always took care of me. He also was my only therapist after my hip replacement. Most people go to physical therapy after hip replacements but he did my therapy at home. Then he would tell me what I could and couldn’t do. Skiing was out which was not a big loss since I was never good at it. Running was also out.

If he were still here, I would keep him SO busy with my new fitness regimen. He would be happy that I was working out but probably have second thoughts when I came home everyday with a new sore spot or a question about what I could or couldn’t do. I know I drove him crazy at times but I am so grateful that he put up with me! I really miss him.!