#DONTDRIVEDUMB – 12/31/16

Happy New Year’s Eve! Tonight I’m celebrating with most of Patrick’s family in Grover Beach. I’m in a much better place than I was 2 years ago but this is still a timely reminder to be safe!

Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Tonight I will be alone at midnight because someone chose to drive while impaired. My resolution for 2017 is to devote time and energy to prevent this from happening to others. Luckily I don’t have to reinvent the wheel in order to make a difference. I am in contact with www.wesavelives.org and will be working with them to see what I can do to make a difference. I challenge all of you to also do what you can to make a difference. Here are some suggestions:

1- #DONTDRIVEDUMB – This is a no brainer but it’s obviously still a problem. If you are impaired in any way, legally or not, don’t get behind the wheel of a car. 

2- Don’t be afraid – it might be uncomfortable to call someone out if they are clearly impaired and getting ready to drive. But it’s probably a lot more uncomfortable knowing you could have prevented a tragedy. Suck it up Buttercup! Take a stand and tell them not to drive! Here is a link to some helpful hints, including intervention techniques: www.wesavelives.org/its-party-time/

3- Take the Courage to Intervene pledge https://wesavelives.org/campaigns/the-courage-to-intervene/

4- Watch and share this video – https://youtu.be/mAFpkKL6c6w

5- Learn more – www.wesavelives.org/3ds/drugged-driving/

6- Donate – In memory of Patrick or any other victim of drunk, drugged or distracted driving www.wesavelives.org/donate/

Be safe out there tonight! Life is precious!

This is Distracted Driving

I held my breath as my brother, Denny, opened the back of his SUV. He had told me that it wasn’t as bad as he expected, but still… Suddenly, there it was, the bike that Patrick had owned for most of our marriage. The bike that he rode through all kinds of weather. To work, for exercise, towing a bike trailer to pick up the girls from daycare. So many years. So many miles.

My husband seriously had the body of a Greek god. He was a fanatic about working out. I never noticed a bit of fat on him, not even a beer belly, though he definitely would have earned that. He was a faithful Catholic but working out was his second religion. I know I’m repeating myself but I can’t tell you how ironic it is that he died while working out. Ironic and unfair. And so preventable.

The front half of the bike looks the same to me. Well-worn but definitely Patrick’s. I notice the seat and laugh. No self respecting cyclist would put their rear on that saddle! But Patrick was the anti-cyclist. He didn’t need all of that fancy stuff. Just two wheels, pedals and maybe some gears. In cycling, his ride would be referred to as a “beater bike”. He did occasionally commandeer some of my gear, like the expensive headlight with the external battery that apparently didn’t survive or wasn’t found after the collision.

The rear wheel looks like an accordion. Exactly what you would expect when a car runs into it. I stare at it for a minute and then turn to bury my head in Denny’s shoulder.

There are also three envelopes, all marked with evidence tape. I open the envelope with the phone first. I take it out and it doesn’t look familiar. I’m surprised that it’s unfamiliar and then I see that it says Verizon and I realize it’s not his phone! In the same instance I realize whose phone it is and I quickly stuff it back in the envelope. Hopefully they still have Patrick’s phone. The second envelope is a water bottle. I wondered which bottle he had taken but I never took inventory. I suspected it would be one of mine and it was, a bottle from America’s Most Beautiful Bike Ride at Lake Tahoe. The last envelope was a part of his reflector that didn’t look at all familiar, just a random item you might see on the side of the road.

Denny takes pictures of the bike and sends them to me later. I will add them to this blog after I’ve had a chance to warn people. In one there is an illusion of a normal bike since the tire has retained its shape outside of the twisted wheel. I comment on this to Denny and he says “rubber holds its shape, like a memory of what it should still look like”.

This is the result of distracted driving. It doesn’t matter what the distraction is. When you are distracted enough to run into a person on a bike, or walking down the street, or in another car, the result is the same. The driver did not have alcohol in his system. He clearly had meth in his system but no one really seems to know how much meth is too much. How much meth does it take to make you impaired? According to California there is no clear definition for drug impairment. Personally I don’t think you should drive when you are impaired by any substance. Maybe someday the law will agree.

I firmly believe that meth and other activities interfered with this driver’s sleep and ultimately he fell asleep at the wheel, which is also distracted driving.

So, do me a favor, in memory of Patrick and the countless individuals who lose their lives every year, if you are too drunk, or high, or sleepy to drive, get an Uber or Lyft. Call a friend. Walk home. Do NOT get behind the wheel. And when you do, put your phone down and pay attention to the road. Don’t make someone else experience this.

We are hoping to use the image of his bike to spread awareness about all kinds of distracted driving. Stay tuned.

An open letter to Brianna Sandoval

A few months before my husband, Patrick, was hit and killed by an impaired driver, another cyclist was seriously injured in a hit and run accident. Dr. William Dominic, director of the burn center at Community Regional Medical Center was riding his bike home after a late-night surgery and was hit.  Here is the story about the hit and run http://bit.ly/2sp3VvJ, and the follow-up story when the driver was caught http://bit.ly/2tMcpe5. Dr. Dominic is alive but his injuries severely impacted his life and the life of his family. His wife is my primary care physician and she was away from her private practice for an extended period due to his injuries. The case is reaching resolution and as part of mediation the person who hit him, Brianna Sandoval, is writing a blog and posting You Tube videos. The rest of this is addressed to her. If I hear back from her and she is willing to have a two-way conversation and open her blog to comments then I will share the links. Until then I just feel that it is self-serving and intended to elicit sympathy.

Dear Brianna – I recently read your blog and watched your YouTube video, neither of which allowed me to post comments. Instead I am writing this open letter that may or may not reach you. I followed this case closely because I am a cyclist, Dr. William Dominic is well-known in the community and Dr. Susan Dominic is my physician. A few months after you hit Dr. Dominic and left the scene, my husband, Patrick, was hit and killed by another driver who was probably impaired and likely fell asleep at the wheel. Now I am committed to doing anything possible to prevent this type of tragedy from happening again. You will notice that I am not using the word “accident”. This is because neither of these situations were accidents. They both occurred because of the actions of an individual.

You seem like a nice person and I’m sure that your “story” will appeal to some people who will feel sorry that such a horrible mistake affected such a sweet girl. I understand that Dr. Dominic has forgiven you, and of course he has every right to do so. I also understand that your blog was created at his request. If you are truly sorry for what happened here are a few suggestions that may help you to really make a difference in the lives of others.

Your blog should state clearly that it is being written after mediation through the Restorative Justice program. I don’t feel you are being sincere if you are not being honest about the purpose of the blog. Also, your blog states that you are sharing a “terrifying experience” you had. An experience is something that happens to you. This was something you caused. Perhaps you could change this to indicate your responsibility and say it was a “terrible mistake” or, even better, a “series of bad decisions”.

You were seen drinking earlier in the evening and you admitted to drinking two beers and a mixed drink. Why is this not mentioned in your blog or video? If you truly want to warn people and prevent future tragedies you need to tell the full story. I guess it’s possible that you truly believe that the alcohol had no effect on you and you simply fell asleep (more on this later). The problem with that scenario is that someone who is fully sober is going to immediately wake up and investigate. If my windshield was mysteriously broken I would want to know what caused the damage. How convenient that you did not stick around so proof of your sobriety could be established beyond a reasonable doubt.

In your video, you indicate that Dr. Dominic is “in full recovery and he is doing okay”. Did he downplay his injuries? I have not heard his condition described as full recovery. He may be back at work but I think that he will be recovering for a long time. He almost died and I don’t think you should dismiss it as “he is doing okay”. You also mentioned that after your arrest you were “guilt free, knowing he was going to get justice”. I’m sure that it was a weight off your chest to know that you would not be able to continue hiding your guilt but something is wrong if you think the only thing you did wrong was not come forward.

When I met with the district attorney for my husband’s case, I was told that juries are usually sympathetic to drowsy drivers because most people have driven drowsy at some point in their lives. This is the biggest problem I have with your explanation. It is NOT okay to drive drowsy. I don’t believe that being tired caused you to hit and almost kill Dr. Dominic, just like I don’t believe that is what happened in my husband’s case. If you are sticking to that story you need to accept responsibility for driving drowsy. If you are truly willing to share your story and impact lives, tell people not to get behind the wheel when they are tired.

My last suggestion is to give people the option to contact you through your blog. You may get angry responses, in fact I’m pretty sure you will. But if you want your story to make a difference then you need to engage with your readers. You need to understand the impact what you did had on this family. If you can prevent one person from causing this type of tragedy you will have made a difference.

I always look for the best in people but recent history has made me cynical. I want to believe that you are a good person and trying to do the right thing. Right now, your blog and video seem to serve the purpose of eliciting sympathy for you; this is not about you. Change your message. Being honest might be terrifying for you but it’s the only way you will make an impact.