Exactly three years ago, April 20th, just after midnight, I only had a few hours left with Patrick and I didn’t even know it. He went to bed before I did so I was probably still awake at this point. When I got in bed he was sound asleep. And when he woke up, I was sound asleep. It’s so crazy to think about it. I try to stay away from thinking “what if” but it’s inevitable. That day will forever replay in my mind and it is still mind-boggling that it even happened.
The girls both got home today and that made me very happy. As I waited, I checked the Find My Friends app frequently, as the dots representing them got closer and closer. We didn’t use that back then. I think I tried to use it but it kept getting mysteriously turned off. Now it is a comfort for us to always know where the others are, especially since they are at opposite ends of the state! Today I couldn’t help but remember our reunion in the driveway when Sierra got in from LA that day. We held each other and sobbed but I was so relieved to have them with me.
I thank God for my girls. Well, God, and Patrick. They were my reason to keep going and I am so proud of them. I wish Patrick could be here in person to see it but I know he is always with us in spirit.
As time has passed, the pain has become more bearable, but it will always be there. I focus instead on the happy memories and I try to live life being grateful for all that I have had. I am blessed that I had almost 30 years with Patrick. And I have to say that this has been more bearable because of the man he was. Thinking of him feels me with happiness. He loved the girls and I and he is present in our lives, reminding us to be happy. I owe it to him to live a good life.
Recently I found some picture CDs that I had forgotten so I decided to share a few of those pictures today. As always, remember Patrick today by doing something nice, making someone laugh, or just being corny!
