Random items bring back fond memories.
“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”
Thomas Campbell
There is no rule book for handling the belongings of your late husband. I did not think I would be going through his things four and a half years later, but I’ve done it at my own pace.
Bruce and I combined our households in mid-2019. Moving was stressful and luckily we have a large garage with room for a lot of boxes. We intended to do a little at a time and then time got away from us.
I’ve had multiple boxes of Patrick’s things that I was holding onto. I was planning to get them all together and then go through and discard anything meaningless. How do you decide what is meaningless? I decided to consolidate the mementos into one box and save it as a time capsule available for the girls or their children to look through in the future.
One box was clearly items that had been packed up in college, moved home, and possibly never touched again.
I picked up a very worn deck of cards with a University of the Pacific logo and a campus picture on them. I’m positive that we played spades in his dorm room or apartment using those cards. The cards might not be played again but they could still be picked up and the holder could imagine their father, or possibly their grandfather, handling the same cards.
A cup made of leather with the name Pat on it. Clearly a high school art class project. Filled with pennies. The pennies could be cashed in for a few bucks. Or they could age in the time capsule, along with the ziplock bag labeled rare coins.
A “guess list” notebook. Used as a sign-in for his bachelor party. Some of the entries intelligible, most nonsensical. Smiling at the thought of Patrick with his high school friends and cousins. Damian reminding him that he knew me first. John not mentioning that he dated me first.
High school ID cards for each of his years at Hoover High School. A school picture and a picture of Patrick running for Sierra Freshman High School.
A book of poems and short stories published in his senior year. Contributors include a classmate who is now the CEO of Valley Children’s Hospital and another who owns a small publishing company. Patrick had several contributions including this one about his great-grandmother. Of course they got his last name wrong!
High school awards including certificates and plaques. Possibly I will add the yearbooks but for now they are on the bookshelf for easy access.
Cassette tapes that are mostly useless now. A picture from his high school prom with his date Heidi. A pair of dice.
My favorite item is a souvenir keychain from Magic Mountain. If you look into it and hold it up to the light you will see a picture of Patrick and I. I’ve always loved the picture.
There are physical therapy tools to measure range of motion and pain sensation. And there are needles and thread to do minor repairs while away from home.
A Jiminy Cricket figurine.
A butane lighter and a nesting tin cup.
A metal “Honor Carrier” cash box from his days delivering The Fresno Bee. Locked but easy to open with a screw driver. Inside are various items including his high school valedictorian medal.
There are various other items that I will leave as surprises for the girls. I realize that many things could be tossed in the trash. I save them because they meant enough to him that he saved them. And I feel close to him as I look through them.
I also know there are still more mementos in the garage. Some day I will find them all and finish the time capsule. And when I do, I will look through everything again.