Today I Grieve for our Pre-Covid Lives

I think this has been the hardest week of the pandemic so far. The world has just become such a hateful place. As a counselor, I recognize that this is a really stressful time and I try to have compassion for people. That has been more of a challenge and sometimes I am just so angry that it has brought the worst out in so many people.

In Clovis, the big topic has been whether or not in-person classes will happen. My kids are in college so it doesn’t affect me directly, but I have friends and family who are parents and/or teachers in Clovis Unified. And there are mixed opinions about what should happen with schools. The governor took the weight of this debate off everyone for now by requiring that schools start the year off online.

Prior to that happening I saw a post from a friend (and former high school classmate), who is an award-winning high school teacher. This friend survived breast cancer in the last few years, so, she is understandably very concerned about the level of exposure. I should also add that this friend loves teaching and her students love her. I know this because they frequently seek her out after they have graduated and post messages telling her the impact she had on them. I always read her posts because she is a very positive, uplifting person. I became angry when I saw that one of the comments on her post was another high school classmate calling her a “whiny baby” for posting that she felt expendable. The same individual also left equally offensive insults on some of the comments made by others. I knew this person in high school and always had a good opinion of her but I haven’t stayed in touch. So I took a look at her Facebook profile to try and understand why she was being so hateful. If I had to give a brief synopsis of her profile it would be “Christian woman who spends her life doing good deeds”. I’m sure you all have friends who fit into this category and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I have known people like this my whole life and many were indeed good people. I wish I could say I was surprised to see the discrepancy between her profile and her comments but I wasn’t.

I’m not the kind of person who quotes scripture on Facebook but I do remember the general lessons I have learned from reading the Bible. What I know is that we should treat others well and we should show who we are by our deeds, not our words. Once again, I was disappointed to see someone proclaiming to be a good person based on the fact that they are Christian, yet acting in a very ungodly way. To make matters worse, the commenter’s sister defended her by saying she had adopted a special needs child. Doing good things doesn’t give you a pass to be hateful to others. Needless to say, I will not be sending a friend request to this particular long-lost classmate.

If this incident were an anomaly I wouldn’t think much about it, but it happens entirely too often. I don’t really advertise my religious beliefs. I know I’m supposed to go out into the world and tell others the “good news” but I also feel that you can do this with actions, not words. I believe that I should strive to be a good person, to treat others how I would like to be treated, and to have love and compassion for all. I try not to judge and to be forgiving. I guess this post fails at the judging part so I will need to work on that. My point is that we should demonstrate who we are by our actions and “They will know we are Christians by our love”. Also, I am definitely not perfect, which is another reason why I don’t post or write a lot about my religious beliefs. I try to be a good person, that is all.

Patrick has been on my mind a lot lately and of course I wonder how he would react to all of this. I know that he would be focused on the medical/scientific aspect of this. He wouldn’t question the need for a mask and I think he would probably agree with the closures and social distancing. He would have done his own research and also listened to the opinions of medical professionals whom he worked closely with. And actually, he probably would have been very alarmed at the potential for loss of life and disruption to medical care. I’m very thankful that our daughters are also sensible and have followed social distancing guidelines. I know he would be proud.

In the interest of full disclosure I will say that the pandemic has had little financial impact on my household. I have had to be cautious since I rely on savings that is subject to fluctuations in the stock market but Bruce is still working and overall we have been in a good position. In fact, Sierra and I both started paid positions in the last few weeks so we are in an even better position. I understand that I have privilege that others might not so, for me, the economic impact is not as significant.

With that being said I feel that the potential for loss of life should be a top priority. Some people have tried to downplay this by saying that these are people who were not healthy to begin with. Or that the numbers aren’t really that high. Sadly, I think their opinions might change if the virus hits close to home.

With all of the tension right now, I’ve gone back and forth about what to write, what to post, etc. I feel that I have educated myself on many current issues and that makes me want to share that information. But I’ve seen others become angry with anything that contradicts their beliefs. I’m still surprised that the pandemic and social justice have become political issues. Sadly, I think it will get worse before it gets better. Be safe everyone! You can also find me on Medium.com – @danellt9black.