Sheltered at home

This is not the pandemic I imagined. Years ago I read The Stand by Stephen King. And I always thought a pandemic would look something like that, with a really high death rate. So in some ways this is a better scenario, but it’s also worse. I never imagined that the whole world could be affected so quickly. And, I never imagined that so much would be shut down.

I’ve tried to do some reading during this. If I read about normal activities like social gatherings or eating out I catch myself wondering how they are able to do that. Has this happened to anyone else? Normal activities seem like such a novelty. And even though it’s only been 5 weeks or so, it feels like it’s been a lot longer.

When this first started, my sister Dawan showed me the Johns Hopkins site with the COVID-19 map. I noticed her taking a screen shot of the numbers so I did too. And then I obsessively kept taking screen shots twice a day. I’m not even completely sure why I did that. My counselor brain says that the whole thing was so unknown that I wanted to find some sort of predictable pattern. I estimated that I took these screen shots for a few weeks but I just looked at the date stamps and it was only 5 days. When I took the first picture, on March 15th, California had 368 confirmed cases and 5 deaths. On March 20th that number had risen to 1,030 confirmed cases and 18 deaths. Four weeks later we are now at 28,157 confirmed cases and 973 deaths. That number will probably increase as I write this. But, it’s actually not as high as I had envisioned and it doesn’t seem to be growing as fast. So, hopefully the social distancing is working.

I’ve been wanting to get back to writing but it’s been difficult to decide exactly what I want to say. When I’m in pain, the words just pour out but now I probably tend to overthink what I’m writing. But I feel that history needs to be recorded so this is my way of documenting what is happening.

This pandemic has effected our society in profound ways. I know we will feel the effects for years and we will probably never return to the “normal” that we used to know. Not to minimize all of this but I have to say that I am extremely grateful for this gift of extra time with Sierra, Camille, and Bethany. Sierra (and her cat Gidget) moved back on March 14th. That same day, Bethany flew home from the Culinary Art Institute in New York. Camille stayed in Davis for a few more days as she studied for finals. But on Monday the 16th I started hearing about the possibility of sheltering in place and I asked Camille to come home. I was so relieved to have them home! Beth splits time between our place and her moms. Since both households take social distancing seriously we feel that is ok. When she is with us we eat WELL! Lately we’ve been getting sourdough bread each day! Last week she made the Disneyland Churro recipe and it was yummy! She also made enough cinnamon rolls to deliver some to my immediate family members. We enjoyed getting out for some social distance visits.

I’m used to getting my girls for long stretches but it’s nice to have them here together. I am just soaking in all the memories and enjoying my time with them. 💕💕 I am especially grateful for the time with Beth. When she graduates we know she will probably not end up in town so this is time we would have never had with her. I’m getting to know her so much better and she and the girls enjoy their time together.

So, for me, the quarantine has had a silver lining. I’m also grateful that Bruce is still employed and I will be again soon. I have one week of class left and then I will apply for registration as an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC). Once I get my registration number, I will start working for Omega Mental Health as a paid employee! Until then I will continue seeing my clients via Telehealth.

My work has changed in many ways. Telehealth can be impersonal but I am also getting a glimpse into my client’s homes and I think that has been a good thing. The first few weeks we mainly talked about the impact the quarantine had on people and things they could do to decrease anxiety and depression. For some, being isolated has become their number one problem. For others, being quarantined removed a lot of their day to day problems. I think it has been a good learning experience and I do feel that I’m helping.

So, I’m sure you are wondering what I tell my clients. Here is my recipe for improving your mood and decreasing anxiety:

• CONNECTION- Find ways to connect with friends and family members. Zoom meetings are great and you can get a free account. You can share your screen and play games together. Check out jackbox.tv for multiplayer games. My favorite are Drawful 2 and Trivia Murder Party. Consider doing a social distance visit where you stand 6-10 feet apart, talk, do air hugs, etc.
• LIMIT NEWS UPDATES – I check the news in the morning and before I go to bed. I’m a news junkie and I could spend the whole day reading about COVID-19 but it’s really not healthy.
• CHECK OUT THE AMAZING THINGS that entertainers and average people are doing while quarantined. Here are some of my favorites on YouTube: The Tonight Show at Home Edition, SGN – Some Good News with John Krasinski, Stay Homas – 3 Italian roommates who formed a band! Or just search COVID-19 or quarantine.
• STRUCTURE and ROUTINE – If you work from home or do school online this is fairly easy. If not, try to stick to consistent bed times and plan out your day. Maybe get dressed in real clothes occasionally?
• FIND PURPOSE – my mom is sewing masks to donate to hospitals. If you have that ability that’s a great thing to do. Other ideas are to do something artistic, musical, or educational. I’m not saying that you need to do something worthwhile or altruistic. The whole point is to find something that brings you joy.
• Finally, realize that there is no road map or manual for this. Do what works for you. If it makes you feel good, do more of that. If it makes you sad, do less.

Hang in there!