Exactly three years ago, April 20th, just after midnight, I only had a few hours left with Patrick and I didn’t even know it. He went to bed before I did so I was probably still awake at this point. When I got in bed he was sound asleep. And when he woke up, I was sound asleep. It’s so crazy to think about it. I try to stay away from thinking “what if” but it’s inevitable. That day will forever replay in my mind and it is still mind-boggling that it even happened.
The girls both got home today and that made me very happy. As I waited, I checked the Find My Friends app frequently, as the dots representing them got closer and closer. We didn’t use that back then. I think I tried to use it but it kept getting mysteriously turned off. Now it is a comfort for us to always know where the others are, especially since they are at opposite ends of the state! Today I couldn’t help but remember our reunion in the driveway when Sierra got in from LA that day. We held each other and sobbed but I was so relieved to have them with me.
I thank God for my girls. Well, God, and Patrick. They were my reason to keep going and I am so proud of them. I wish Patrick could be here in person to see it but I know he is always with us in spirit.
As time has passed, the pain has become more bearable, but it will always be there. I focus instead on the happy memories and I try to live life being grateful for all that I have had. I am blessed that I had almost 30 years with Patrick. And I have to say that this has been more bearable because of the man he was. Thinking of him feels me with happiness. He loved the girls and I and he is present in our lives, reminding us to be happy. I owe it to him to live a good life.
Recently I found some picture CDs that I had forgotten so I decided to share a few of those pictures today. As always, remember Patrick today by doing something nice, making someone laugh, or just being corny!
This day will always be in all our hearts and minds. So very precious memories. Praise the Lord we will see him again. We know he is with all our many loved ones in heaven. I am so very thankful that you and the girls are doing so well. I love you all with all my heart, Momma
I somehow ended up on this page while searching f/b for another person. Today the 20th is a special day for me as well. Today was my wife’s birthday and she has been gone for almost a year now and your story really hit home for me. Your describing Patrick is exactly the way my wife was. I like you am doing this one day at a time and somedays it seems better then several days of grieving. I just had to comment on your story. Thank you for sharing.
God bless you
Thank you Terry! I’m very sorry for your loss. Patrick’s birthday was last Saturday so I know that is also a hard date. God bless you too!