I started choosing one word each year in 2017. As I look back on the words I chose, they really did have purpose.
Cherish – I first wrote about this in 2017.
In 2017 when I wrote about patience, it had been over a year since Patrick’s death. I wanted to feel better and it seemed like that would never happen. I wrote how that felt:
“Most of the time I wish I could travel back in time to spend more time with him or relive happy memories. I know that is not my reality so the rest of the time I wish I could fast forward to a time when the grief is not so bad.”
I knew that I needed to be patient so I chose that word to focus on and I really think it helped. I knew things would get better and they definitely did. By the end of the year I was feeling ready to start dating.
In early 2018 I had been venturing into the dating world with mixed results. After meeting several people I realized that I needed to focus on what was really important to me. Patrick cherished me and that was one of the major requirements of a new relationship. I was getting to the point where I felt like I would settle for less and I needed a reminder that I should hold out for the right person.
I began talking to Bruce the day after we moved Sierra to law school. A month later Camille would return to school and I faced the prospect of living alone. I was worried that I would be so lonely that I would settle for any kind of relationship. We hit it off immediately. Our coffee date moved to a restaurant for dinner. The next night’s dinner date turned into dinner and a movie. After that I was happy to close all my online dating accounts and I have been enjoying getting to know Bruce since then!
Bruce and I have had parallel lives for many years. For the last 14 years we’ve lived within a half mile or so of each other. When he told me his cross streets I thought he was some kind of stalker because they matched mine! When we were getting to know each other he showed me a picture of he and his daughters’ at a father-daughter dance. I pulled up a similar picture of Patrick and the girls at the SAME dance!
Bruce’s story is not mine to tell but I will say that although our situations were different we had a lot of things in common. I knew right away that family and faith were important to him and we shared many common beliefs and values. I am so grateful to be dating someone who cares about me and my daughters and treats me really well.
So my word for 2019 is build. Like my last word choices, build has several definitions. And they all apply to different parts of my life. I am getting closer to the end of my schooling and looking forward to building my career. My girls continue to build their futures successfully. I am enjoying building a future with Bruce! And who knows, there could be some other building going on at some point. Here’s to building a great 2019!
