I’m in awe of Sierra!!!!!

Patrick loved both of his girls dearly and he had unique relationships with each. The last few days I have been reminded of how proud he was of Sierra.

Sierra. My firstborn. Beautiful. Strong-willed yet loving. Confident. Smart. Witty. She has been a bit more of a challenge to parent, not because she is a bad kid, we just butt heads at times.

Sierra had a special relationship with Patrick. They loved each other dearly. They would have heated arguments about a variety of things. He knew which buttons to push and on more than one occasion she ended up going to her room in tears when he pushed a little too far. And he tested this frequently. They didn’t always see eye to eye but as she got older i think they enjoyed their debates.

He worried about her when she went to college in Long Beach. She frequently called with a variety of car and apartment issues and at one point he was convinced that she needed to just come home. I knew that she would be fine. She tended to react strongly to problems but she always worked through them.

Two years ago today, Sierra got a ride home with her Aunt Denise and surprised us for a weekend visit. I screamed when I opened the door! Patrick had been experiencing a lot of challenges at work since he became the acting Inpatient Rehab Supervisor and it had been a rough week. He was SO happy to see her! They stayed up late talking and when he came to bed he told me that having her come home was exactly what he needed. He was so very happy and proud of her.

Sierra had been telling us she was graduating in three years. We weren’t sure whether or not this was a pipe dream or actually possible. She had not been a straight A student in high school but she was always a really good student and had a lot of AP classes. Patrick and i talked about how amazing it would be if she were actually able to pull this off!

When Patrick was killed, Sierra was in Long Beach. Fortunately Denise was only 1 1/2 hours away. She called Sierra and told her something had happened at home, and to pack a bag and be ready to be picked up. Sierra did as she asked and then waited for her to arrive. She didn’t call or text anyone. I asked her about this recently and she told me that she didn’t really want to know what it was until she was actually with Denise. I think it was a very wise decision.

We cried together as I told her over the phone. Then she came home, moved into my room for a while, and we helped each other through the next few months. She was able to take incomplete grades for that semester and was given a year to make them up. When she returned to school in the fall, I just wanted her to be okay and finish one thing at a time. I assumed the 3 year plan was no longer possible.

She exceeded all of our expectations, making up her classes and sticking to the 3 year plan. She graduated with magna cum laude honors last May. I encouraged her to take a year off to study for and take the LSAT, and apply for law school. This also meant that I had another year of not being alone!

In December, she retook the LSAT and improved her score. At the end of January she submitted her first applications. I assumed it would take a while to hear back but on Friday she walked out of her room with a big grin on her face and told me she had been accepted to Southwestern with a decent size scholarship! She cautioned me that she didn’t want to get too excited because there were others to hear from and she had a few applications left. She didn’t want to make a decision until she knew all of her options. I couldn’t help it though, I sat there and imagined what it would be like to be sharing this moment with Patrick and tears poured down my face. I am SO proud of her and I can just picture the huge grin that would be on his face.

Yesterday she checked the mail and there was an admissions packet from McGeorge, UOP’s law school. UOP is Patrick’s alma mater! Inside there was a letter telling her she had been selected as an Anthony M. Kennedy fellow, an honor that includes a FULL tuition scholarship!!!!! Again the tears flowed! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine she would get this kind of scholarship! Sierra has worked hard and overcome so much. Her dad would be so proud of her! I can’t wait for her to hear from the other schools and make her final decision but WOW, she already has so many options!!! I feel like there is nothing she can’t do! I’m just going to sit back and be in awe of her for a while!