My latest assignment was a paper about the creation of hope. Some papers are a drag to get through but I enjoyed this one. Still, I am easily distracted. I took a break to fold some laundry and I was singing and dancing to “All You Need is Now” by Duran, Duran. I had a smile on my face and I suddenly pictured Patrick dancing with me. I don’t think things like this are random. I know that not everyone agrees but I get a lot of comfort from the thought that he is with me.
Later I listened to the song over and over and it was exactly what I needed. I have not felt a lot of hope lately. I’m very in tune with my feelings and I’ve been consciously struggling with depression. Things don’t always work out the way that I hope, and I spend way too much time analyzing them. I know what is causing my depression and I also know the things I need to do to get out of it, but I am stubborn, so I’ve been resisting a little more than I should have been. My foot hurts and I know if I go to the gym it will be painful, but I need to exercise. I took a walk instead and it did improve my mood.
The song was a reminder of the life I have had. I have to take those happy memories and propel them forward because I know I will be happy again. I had the most unimaginable thing happen to me and the way that I am getting through it is creating purpose in my life. I am hoping that my pain will make me a more empathetic and compassionate counselor. I am hoping that sharing my story will bring hope to someone who is just beginning their grief journey.
I’m not going to lie, the fact that Patrick is dead sucks! I’ve cried and screamed out loud, ate whatever I want, bought whatever I want, done whatever I want, and it still sucks. I know that I could let that be my story, but I think I owe it to him to have the best possible life that I can. Living my life to the fullest and doing something that would make him proud is going to give both of our lives meaning.
Some people quote bible verses but I am more likely to quote the lyrics from an 80’s song, or any song really. I look for purpose and meaning wherever I can find it. To me, “All You Need is Now” can be interpreted in a lot of ways. The song invites me to live in the moment, take one day at a time and live like there is no tomorrow.
One of the verses is “Everybody’s gunning for the VIP section. But you’re better up and running in another direction”. I hear that and it reminds me that we all have dreams. Some of us may fulfill them. Others will head down a different path and find something completely amazing there.
Mainly this song just reminds me of all the happy times we had. I’m not sure if we were dancing in the picture below but this picture and the others remind me of those early days. Thinking about them makes me smile and gives me hope that I will have wonderful times in the future.
All You Need is Now
By Duran Duran
It’s all up to you now
Find yourself in the moment
Go directly to the voodoo
Now the channel is open
Lose your head
Lose control
You come on delicate and fine
Like a diamond in the mind
Oh whoa, yeah
When you move into the light
You’re the greatest thing alive
Oh whoa
And you sway in the moon
The way you did
When you were younger
When we told everybody
All you need is now
Stay with the music let it
Play a little longer
You don’t need anybody
All you need is now
Everybody’s gunning
For the VIP section
But you’re better up and running
In another direction
With your bones in the thrall
Throw a shadow on the vine
Bat your lashes let it shine
Oh whoa, yeah
Every moment that arrives
You’re the greatest thing alive
Oh whoa
And you sway in the moon
The way you did
When you were younger
And we told everybody
All you need is now
Stay with the music let it
Play a little longer
You don’t need anybody
All you need is now
All you need, all you need is now
All you need, all you need is now
All you need, all you need is now
… and we will
Sway in the moon
The way we did
When we were younger
(When we were younger)
When we told everybody
All you need is now
Stay with the music let it
Play a little longer
(A little longer)
We don’t need anybody
All you need is now
All you need, all you need is now
All you need, all you need is now
All you need, all you need is now
All you need, all you need is now