A visit with Camille

This week I got to visit Camille for the first time since dropping her off. I took my mom to Elk Grove for minor surgery (it went well) and we got to take Camille to dinner and visit her dorm. I was so excited to see her and I could tell she was happy that we were there. As we sat next to each other at dinner she snuggled up against me. Still the strong, independent, college student but forever my baby girl.

I’m not sure if we ever went six weeks without seeing Sierra because she always had a car at school and came home frequently. We were excited to see her every single time. Patrick, Camille, and I would anxiously wait for her and check the door every time we thought it might be her. Our house would seem whole once she arrived.  One of the hardest parts of the day Patrick died, was being away from Sierra. When she finally arrived, hours later, the three of us hugged each other and sobbed. We really haven’t liked being apart since then.

Yesterday, Camille took the train home for her first visit, almost seven weeks after we dropped her off. She texted us multiple times during the trip and Sierra was also very excited. When we got to the train station I kept refreshing Find My Friends so that I could see her getting closer and closer. When the train finally pulled in, she texted that she had seen us. We looked across the crowd and when Sierra finally saw her, she handed her phone to me and ran to hug her. As they pulled apart they both wiped tears from their eyes. I am so happy that they love each other so much.

Camille is the same, yet different. She seems mature and confident and has been studying all day today. She has made a lot of friends and introduced me to a few when I visited. I know it hasn’t been easy for her to be away. She shared with me that one of the hardest parts is that no one knows about her Dad. This is always hard when you meet someone new. The fact that you’ve lost someone who was part of you is such a huge part of your identity but it’s not something you want to just blurt out. It’s always good when it comes up in conversations.

I can’t help but imagine what this weekend would be like if Patrick were still here. We both would have been so excited and happy to see her and we would have talked about how proud we are of both of the girls. It reminded me of the weekend Sierra surprised us. He had just finished a rough week and he was so happy to see her. We always agreed that it was so nice knowing the whole family was home. This weekend I’m experiencing that wonderful feeling of having both girls home. I just wish he was here too.