So…. in spite of repeatedly saying I wouldn’t, I set up a dating profile! 😳😳😳 I think I might be trying to scare people away with my description of myself but I have to start somewhere, right?
You may not realize this but writing this blog has become such a part of me that I HAVE to write it, even if I’m afraid to say things. I was really hesitant to write this because I don’t want it to sound like an ad. But I also feel like I need to let people know that I might possibly be ready for dating. So there you have it.
I definitely come with a lot of baggage! I haven’t dated for 30 years and honestly I really didn’t “date” that much. I went on a handful of dates before I met the two boyfriends that I ever had. The second one was Patrick! So, I don’t even really know how to do this!
Some people feel that if you meet your true love, that is it, you will be with them for eternity. That is certainly a romantic thought and I will definitely always love Patrick. But I do feel you can love more than one person. And I think heaven is different than we could possibly imagine. There is no jealousy. I do think that Patrick and I may have had conversations about this although we really didn’t discuss much about dying. I can picture him saying something like, “Maybe you will find a guy who is cooler than me!” So, even before I considered dating, I’ve always known that I had Patrick’s blessing. He loved me and would want me to be happy. I will have no guilt about finding someone new.
At the same time, I’m not going to set Patrick aside while I date. He will always be a huge part of my life. If someone is insecure about that, they probably should not date me.
Recently, my mother-in-law, Barbara, told me, “You know, Pop and I don’t expect you to be alone forever.” Of course I knew this without being told but I let her know how much it meant to have their blessing. I also told her that I would only date someone who realized that the teNyenhuis/Prandini family is part of the package. They will always be my family. So, if you would not be happy spending part of Christmas Day with my late husband’s family, then you probably shouldn’t date me because that’s where I will be!
I would love to find someone to share my life with but I don’t NEED to have someone. If I spent the rest of my life as Patrick’s widow, the memories of the great love we had could be enough to sustain me. I would still be sad that he was gone but I am not going to date just for the sake of having someone by my side.
My profile currently mentions that I am a widow and that I’m not sure if I’m even ready to date. So, that will probably scare off most people. And for now, that’s fine.