4th of July

Patrick and I always loved the 4th of July! We were on our honeymoon on July 4, 1992. We went on a cruise that began in San Juan, Puerto Rico. I remember being a little surprised that the announcements were in 3 languages. I think they acknowledged Independence Day but it was the first time I was ever out of the country on the 4th. I think we might have been in Curaçao that day and we happened to see a ship with an American Flag on it and it made me very happy!

The next year we had a combination 4th of July/housewarming party and it was the beginning of a fairly annual tradition. We missed some years for various reasons (didn’t feel like hosting a party the year I was 9 months pregnant)! We liked having parties on the 4th though.

Patrick would usually barbecue tri-tip and everyone would bring something. We usually made homemade chocolate chip ice cream. We took our fireworks seriously! Usually there would be multiple men arranging an elaborate display. I think my cousins even made us a display with several shelfs for the fireworks. I would usually bring the karaoke machine out so that Travis Holland could sing the National Anthem and then we would play patriotic music during the fireworks. We’re lucky that there were never any injuries or burns because the guys got a little crazy with the fireworks! We were always exhausted at the end of the night but it was always a fun time.

Patrick was a party throwing machine! I usually handled the inside prep and he would make sure the backyard was ready to go. He would fill ice chests, make ice cream and do many other things to get ready. In the last few frantic moments before people started arriving, if one of us finished what we were doing we would check in with the other to see if we could help. 

I have had a lot of get togethers since he died and I always catch myself looking around, expecting to see him. 

Last year the 4th kind of blindsided me. Silly me, I forgot how special it was! I decided I couldn’t handle going to any parties but I relented and went to my brother’s house just before the fireworks. I was glad that I went. 

I wasn’t feeling well on the last 4th of July we had together so, sadly, I didn’t go to the party. The party was at Denny’s and it was one of the first times Patrick had been around Denny’s friend, Phillip. He struck up a conversation and asked Phillip what he did for a living. Phillip explained that he was a supervisor for the street sweepers in Fresno. My charming husband said, “They need a supervisor”. Phillip’s girlfriend, Becky, whom I’ve known for years, walked up right then and I can only imagine what she thought of Patrick. That was just Patrick though. He didn’t have a filter sometimes and he always had a complex thought process. I saw Becky a few days later and I said, “So, you met my husband?” And then we had a good laugh!  Luckily he and Phillip really clicked and when he died both Phillip and Becky had some great memories of time spent with Patrick. 

This year feels like it will be easier but I am prepared for unexpected feelings. I know I’ll get through it but it would be impossible to not be constantly reminded of him tomorrow, just as I am every other day.

Happy 4th of July!!!