I’ve kept myself busy all week so that I wouldn’t think about tomorrow. We have our final hearing and we will be addressing the defendant. I have been anxiously awaiting this closure and it didn’t happen two weeks ago but I am 99% sure this will be it. I’m pretty sure I’ve been keeping my guard up and I will probably have to let it down tomorrow and that kind of terrifies me. My family will be with me so I know it will be okay but I’m just not sure that I want to experience all of the emotion. At least this part will be over.

I still just can’t believe this happened. I think about him every day and I’m able to share funny stories and smile. But every once in a while I get sucker punched when I consciously remember that he is gone. Tonight I cooked dinner for the soccer team and I kind of got in over my head. I don’t cook a lot and when I do it is just for 2-3 people. I decided to make 4 kinds of pasta, two kinds of sauce, chicken and veggies. My oven was used in shifts and every burner on my stove was in use. And I didn’t time it very well. The chicken didn’t look right at first so I just didn’t serve it. I ate some and it tasted ok but at that point they were all full from pasta! I think it turned out okay but let’s just say it wasn’t Olive Garden!

Patrick and I hosted a lot of get togethers over the years. He was usually in charge of cooking and he just had a knack for the timing that is involved when you cook a big meal. He probably viewed it as a math problem to be solved! Just another one of his many talents! He used to crack me up when he was getting ready to sleep. I would catch him deep in thought and ask what was wrong and he would hold up his hand for a minute and then tell me he was doing math, which meant he was calculating what time to set his alarm. I never understood this since he stuck to his schedule religiously so I usually just laughed!

Time for sleep! I am so thankful the hearing was moved to the afternoon so I won’t miss my workout. I’ll post again tomorrow to let you know how it goes!