This week is going to be difficult for me. We have a court appearance on Thursday and I believe there will be sentencing and we are supposed to be prepared to speak if we choose to. I wrote a statement months ago and I probably won’t change it much but I will agonize over it until it is time to read it. What do you say to the man who hit and killed your husband and the father of your children? I feel like I need to be really mean and angry but I honestly am not capable of doing that. I have asked my brother to speak also. He is an eloquent writer and speaker and he will be able to convey the anger better than I can. I will still speak because he needs to know just what he took away from us.
Yesterday I spoke with the physical therapist who happened to be one of the first people on the scene. I spoke with him in April and had been meaning to talk again when I had more time. I’m not sharing his name because I didn’t ask for permission but it was very comforting both times I spoke to him. He got there moments after the car hit Patrick and he confirmed that Patrick was already gone. There were other bystanders there and they prayed over Patrick and then attempted CPR until paramedics arrived. The driver prayed with them.
He has been profoundly affected by this as you might expect and he was more than happy to talk to me and answer any questions that he could. He felt somewhat guilty that he was not able to do anything. I reassured him that I know there was nothing he could do. I didn’t think of this last night but it just occurred to me that maybe God put him there so that I would know that there was a loving person who prayed over Patrick and was able to tell me that he appeared at peace and didn’t suffer. This meant so much to me! The first time we met, at Patrick’s rosary, he told me that he and his wife had been praying for the girls and I and she wanted me to know that she was sending her love. I spoke to her last night for the first time and she is also a kind and loving person. I’m adding them to the list of my new forever friends.
I hadn’t really thought much about the other people who were there and I have no idea who they were. I am guessing it is possible that some of you know who they are. If so, I would love to be put in contact with them and thank them for stopping.
Please think of our family on Thursday. This won’t be easy but it will be good when it is behind us.