Retirement is a lot busier than you might think! I never believed it when retired people told me this but I seem to have a lot more to do! I have to keep reminding myself to have patience since I want to do so many things at once.
I never imagined that I would be a full time student again. My program is designed around people who work. I only take one class at a time for 8 weeks. The class I am in right now is a lot of work and I am so thankful that I don’t have to work on top of doing my course work. I have had to relearn academic writing and study habits. I had terrible study habits when I did my undergraduate degree. Now that I am older and presumably wiser I see the value in planning out my work so that I have adequate time to finish it. I really can’t believe how much time I spend on school work. I think I care more this time around. I don’t like to do poorly so I am always striving to improve each week.
Patrick was always much more disciplined than I was in college. I know he worked a lot harder than I did. His classes were a lot harder and he was dedicated to being the best he could be. He always set high standards for himself. Even when I went to visit he made time for homework. I think he instilled this work ethic in his daughters and I know he would be proud of them.
Sierra is back at Long Beach for her last semester. In a few months she will be graduating and then Camille graduates a week later. I am trying to prepare myself but I fully expect to be an emotional wreck. I am happy that he was here for most of their school years. It’s really hard not having him now. The girls are mostly grown so there really aren’t a lot of “decisions” left to be made but I am so used to discussing everything with him. We would problem solve or just share the joy being parents brought to us.
I am getting used to doing more things on my own. Tonight was trash night so I cleaned leftovers out of the fridge. This reminded me of Patrick’s weekly Wednesday night ritual. I would be cleaning the kitchen and he would announce that it was trash night and he would proceed to take containers out of the fridge and empty the food into the trash. Then he would add the containers to my pile of dishes. I would get so annoyed! Many times I was almost done with the dishes and looking forward to relaxing. I would kind of glare at him and he would be surprised since he was just helping. Why did I get annoyed? Looking back now it is so silly. The things that we waste energy on! I would spend all day washes dishes for another 15 minutes with him! I realize that hindsight is 20-20 and that we tend to only focus on the positive qualities of loved ones who have gone before us. I know he wasn’t perfect but he was a good man. If I had it to do over I would spend more time showing him how much he was loved and appreciated and less time being annoyed about silly things!
I’m on my second week of workouts. I got my boxing gloves and so far I have only used them in workouts. I like having them. It makes me feel tough! LOL. I’m not as sore this week as I was last week. I have had a variety of aches and pains and I am wondering how “normal” people deal with these. Patrick graduated from PT school in 1991 and became my personal, in home, physical therapist. He was good too! Sometimes the “massages” were not very relaxing and I knew that I could expect to be sore for a few days. The pain was worth it because once the few days had gone by I would be much improved. Now I am not quite sure what to do when something really hurts. Admittedly most of the things he treated over the years would not have warranted a Drs visit. He might whine a little but he always took care of me. He also was my only therapist after my hip replacement. Most people go to physical therapy after hip replacements but he did my therapy at home. Then he would tell me what I could and couldn’t do. Skiing was out which was not a big loss since I was never good at it. Running was also out.
If he were still here, I would keep him SO busy with my new fitness regimen. He would be happy that I was working out but probably have second thoughts when I came home everyday with a new sore spot or a question about what I could or couldn’t do. I know I drove him crazy at times but I am so grateful that he put up with me! I really miss him.!