This was originally published on 1/21/17. I still have a lot of blogs to transfer over from Tumblr but I needed this as I am going to reference it in another entry I am writing today!
“I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.”
Margaret Thatcher
The leader of my widow support group challenged us to pick one word for 2017. The instructions involved putting a little thought into it and I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it. With school work and all I didn’t really want another assignment. I thought it might take too long to figure it out, but then it came to me, “PATIENCE.”
This might seem like an odd choice for me. In some ways I am a very patient person. I also sometimes have a need for instant gratification. This is the reason I liked gambling so much, in fact, too much! Last year the girls and I spoiled ourselves a little so I had a lot of instant gratification (not gambling though). But we can’t live like that forever.
Patrick has been gone nine months today. Most of the time I wish I could travel back in time to spend more time with him or relive happy memories. I know that is not my reality so the rest of the time I wish I could fast forward to a time when the grief is not so bad. I know it will never go away but I have heard it does get somewhat easier and that’s where I want to be. The thing is, I have also heard that you can’t hold it in, you have to work through it. So that’s where patience comes in.
“No, no! The adventures first, explanations take such a dreadful time.”
Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass
I need to accept that everything takes time. I can’t blink my eyes and be laughing and smiling all the time, I need to be patient. I want to be in better shape and lose weight. That won’t happen overnight and if I want to develop good habits, really lifestyle changes, I need to be patient.
I’ve talked about all of the different things I want to do to get organized and I know I can’t do them all at once. I have already been exercising some patience by just accepting that I will get things done as I get them done, it’s not going to happen overnight.
Patrick was much more patient than I am. I’m pretty sure that I probably tried to convince him that we should get married sooner but he stuck to the plan. Maybe the long (to me) wait for the proposal was a little lesson for me, be patient, good things are to come.
I think we could all use a little more patience in life. One thing I like about my new workouts is that we don’t spend too much time on any one exercise. So even if it is something I hate, or I am really tired, I know I just have to hang in there for a bit longer and then we will move on to something else. Patience is knowing that if you keep walking through the darkness, eventually there will be light again.
As hard as losing Patrick has been, I know I will experience joy, happiness and love again and again in my life. It’s not going to happen overnight, so I just have to be patient.
“Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is “timing”
it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles
and in the right way.“
Fulton J. Sheen