The pain is almost unbearable at times. I try not to think about it but even the simplest tasks have become hard. Why am I so weak? Why am I so out of shape?!
I love having “good” pain for a change. Okay, I really don’t love the pain but at least I know there will be a reward. I have been inspired by several friends to join Urban Block Fitness. I’m doing a 6 week challenge and working out every day at 7 AM. Did I mention I am NOT a morning person? I picked that time slot to join my friends Craig and Linda Crews. So far I haven’t cursed at them but I get my boxing gloves on Thursday so who knows what could happen?
The workout is unlike anything I’ve done before. It’s a lot of different strength and cardio activities and honestly, except for the pain, I am really enjoying it.
I’m also trying to change my eating habits so I am using Juice Plus, inspired by another friend, Alicia Marzette. Wow, I’m like a commercial!
I’m doing this for me but also for the girls and especially for Patrick. He always loved me, no matter what. And he told me I was beautiful at times when I didn’t feel good about how I looked. But I know he worried about my health and I owe it to him to take better care of myself. I know I can do it. I’m competitive and I may not look like it now but there’s an athlete somewhere inside of me!
Patrick and I both ran Varsity Cross Country and Track in High School. He ran for Hoover and I ran for Clovis High. We were probably at many of the same meets but we never met until after our first year of college. I tried to continue running but just didn’t have much discipline. Really I stuck with running so long because I liked being on the team. I wasn’t the best runner but a few times I was able to score points for the team. I made lifelong friends and my coaches had a big impact on my life. In fact I probably would have never met Patrick if I didn’t end up working for John Prandini, who is Carlo’s brother.
Over the years I tried different things while Patrick consistently did the same things and was always in good shape. I joined gyms and he rode his bike to work. I quit gyms and he rode his bike to work in the rain. We tried jogging together but he was too serious about exercise and He would literally start running circles around me. When the girls were young we would put them in the stroller and go for long walks. That eventually stopped when they got too big to stay in the stroller but too small to walk with us.
I’m embarrassed to admit this but when we were first married I recorded 3 ½ hours of Soaps each day. I watched Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, As The World Turns and Guiding Light. We decided to buy some kind of stepping or gliding machine so I could do cardio in front of the TV. And guess what? I quit watching Soaps!
After my hip replacement in 2006 I was more limited so we got a recumbent bike. I like having it because it was a great place to hang clothes after doing the laundry. By this point Patrick rarely rode to work because he worked too close and it wasn’t enough of a workout. So he would get up and either run or ride his bike then shower and take a leisurely ride to work or just drive there. He trained for and ran two marathons but he didn’t understand the need to make such a spectacle out of it so he mostly just ran around the neighborhood.
In 2008 he and the girls bought me a mountain bike for Mother’s Day. And I finally found something that I enjoyed. After a few months of riding I began training for a Century Ride and eventually bought a road bike. I did well with this at first but I got to the point where I thought that if I rode 30 or 50 miles I could eat whatever I wanted and that didn’t work out to well.
No matter what, he kept working out. He was in perfect health, never sick and he died riding his bike for exercise. Due to the circumstances, we didn’t even have the option of donating all of those healthy organs. This occurred to me days later and it really made me sad.
I still have my bikes. They are gathering dust. I’ve ridden a handful of times and maybe I will ride more someday but I just can’t do it right now.
We’ll see how I do with my latest venture into exercising. He would have been pleased but probably skeptical. Hopefully, for once, I can stick with it. If I can just get through the pain!