Today marks eight months. I am kind of amazed that I have made it eight months without him. Not that I had a choice. Sometimes, I feel like a broken record, I still can’t believe he’s gone! As we draw closer to Christmas it gets harder and harder. I find myself incredibly sad when I least expect it. And I’m a little angry right now too because this was not the way things were supposed to go. I do believe that God has a plan, even if I don’t understand it. I just wish that we could follow my plan. My plan was a lot better, it included joyfully watching our daughters achieve their dreams, having their father walk them down the aisle and watching his joy as he held his first grand baby. I need to find a way to enjoy those moments for both of us.
I started a new class last week and it’s a little harder than expected. I have an assignment due tomorrow and then a two week break from schoolwork. Part of me is frustrated that I even have a class right now but then I spent several hours working on my assignment and my sadness took a back seat so I was grateful for that. This is just such an emotional time and I am questioning a lot of things but I keep telling myself that it will be better when I get through the holidays. I have this mental picture of me crossing a finish line because this kind of feels like a marathon!
Monday I received a Christmas card from someone I don’t know. The card was from one of Patrick’s patients. She indicated he treated her in 2007 and 2009! She told me he was a wonderful PT and the girls and I were his world. Wow! He’s been gone eight months and strangers are still reaching out to share the impact he had on them. I love hearing the stories and it really makes me want to reach out to people who have had an impact on me. Maybe that would be a good New Years resolution.
She also shared a funny story he had told her about me! I will never live this one down so you might as well hear it. When the girls were in elementary school I was sick one day. I didn’t feel like getting out of bed but I had to take them to school. So I just got in the car with my pajamas on. They were blue with large clocks on them for some reason. They were goofy looking but really soft and warm. Patrick liked to make fun of them. I drove the girls to school and dropped them off. I headed home and was at the stop sign closest to my house (it’s now a traffic signal). I was traveling south and was almost home. A teenage boy was traveling east in the left turn lane. He started turning left and I pulled into the intersection. But he wasn’t really turning left. He was making a u-turn and I ran right into him! I was so annoyed! I just wanted to get back home and crawl into bed! I was so flustered that I put my van into reverse to get out of the intersection and backed right into the car behind me! I was SO embarrassed! I pulled over and sat in my car until the kid walked over and I gave him my info. Fortunately the guy behind me surveyed his car, no damage, so he left. The obvious moral of the story is Don’t Leave Your House in Your Pajamas!
I think it’s funny that he told that story. I told it to my coworkers too. I have no problem laughing at myself and Patrick didn’t either for the most part. He was occasionally sensitive about stories that he felt were particularly embarrassing. However, he also liked to say, “It’s only funny until someone gets hurt, then it’s hilarious!” And frankly I would love to annoy him enough that he would haunt me because I really miss him! So here goes… On a trip to Vegas, possibly for Denny’s 21st birthday, we were in the Tropicana with my sister Denise and brother-in-law Wes. Patrick decided to try oysters on the half shell. I think Wes might have challenged him or something. I guess you are supposed to just swallow them whole. So Patrick started making an exaggerated face like he was having trouble swallowing the oyster. We were all laughing at the faces he was making. Apparently he wasn’t trying to be funny because suddenly the oyster came back up and flew across the table. We were dying laughing! We all had to walk away! Since then it has been a favorite topic whenever we are around Wes. He eventually asked if we could put the story to rest and I respected that while he was alive. Now I need to laugh and smile so I think he would understand! Hopefully it also brought a smile to your face. ❤❤❤