Originally posted on 11/21/16. Reposting to observe the one year anniversary of Ron’s death.
Life is really unfair. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. These are really inadequate things to say when someone has died tragically. But most of us are at a loss for words when the unexplainable happens. Saturday night my best friend’s dad walked across the street to get the mail. On his way back across he was hit and killed. Why? Why? Why?
I met Cathy Stebles in fifth grade. Over the years I got to know her entire family. Her parents, Ron & Charlene, were like second parents to me. I spent a lot of time at their house on East Herndon. Ron was one of a kind. He had a really dry sense of humor and he always had us laughing. He had his own unique expressions. During high school he would ask us if we had “Met any lumps lately?” He was referring to hunks but of course he needed to make up his own word for it.
He raised his 3 daughters and 1 son to be independent. They learned to drive tractors before cars and had to be able to change the oil and tires on their cars if they expected to be allowed to drive. A lot of his little quirks were really smart. If he were driving us somewhere he would buckle his seat belt and say, “One”. Everyone knew this was their queue to count off as they buckled their seat belts. “Two, three, four” we all recited. This way he knew all the kids were in the car and safely buckled in. I felt like one of the kids and he and Charlene always referred to me as one of their other kids. Once we were adults I didn’t always see them a lot but when I did they were always very nice and made me feel part of their family.
Ron owned an auto shop called Speed Unlimited and he mostly worked on Volkswagen’s. When Patrick bought his VW bus he began taking it there when he needed work done. When you own a 1971 VW bus you get to know your mechanic really well! Patrick and Ron had a similar sense of humor and enjoyed their frequent brief visits. I also got to see Ron more often than I would have since I spent time transporting Patrick from the shop to work and back again. I am grateful that I had these extra opportunities over the years.
I don’t recall the exact dates that Ron retired and sold the shop but it was after we moved to Clovis. Ron introduced Patrick to Burnett’s and they worked on the bus for the rest of Patrick’s life. When Patrick died I was concerned about notifying them. The bus had been in the shop that same week and I wasn’t sure if they had seen news reports. Cathy talked to her dad and he agreed to stop by and notify them. Ron and Charlene attended Patrick’s funeral service. This was a little bit of a shock to me since I wasn’t aware of another time that Ron attended any kind of church service. I would describe Ron as a devout atheist. The fact that he sat through a Catholic funeral mass meant the world to me and made me realize how much he loved Patrick and I.
I saw Ron again at his grandson Matt’s graduation. Matt graduated with my nephew, Anthony. Cathy had an extra seat so I sat with the Stebles/Lamb family to free up a seat in the teNyenhuis section. The last time I saw him was at the Cougar Foundation BBQ in September. As always I received a big hug. He called me “Kiddo” and reminded me that I was always “one of the kids”. I’m grateful for these last few brief visits.
Ron’s sense of humor lives on in his grandsons. I have always been reminded of him when listening to Michael or Matt talk. I will chuckle and tell Cathy that they are definitely his grandsons.
And now my heart aches for Cathy, Charlene, Marilyn, Denise and Mike and all of the rest of the family, especially the grandkids. I know their pain only too well and it breaks my heart that they have to go through this. Ron lived a long, rich life. He was supposed to die, years from now, of old age. Some will say that at least he didn’t suffer. To me it is even more senseless that someone his age would die tragically. The fact that it was 1 day short of seven months after Patrick died is just crazy.
Cathy was my Rock when Patrick died. I can never repay the support she gave me. Now our roles are reversed but I am not happy that I am returning the favor. It’s not fair that she is going through this! I don’t understand, but I know that I don’t always get to know why things happen. I am hoping that Patrick was able to welcome Ron with open arms. I know that Ron would disagree and I really don’t want to disrespect him but I truly believe he is in heaven now. I just wish I could hear what he has to say about it! You know it would be good!
